I LOVE the fact that in a few short (long) months I will be able to hold a new bundle of joy, someone that is part me and 100 % awesome. But the process of getting them here is not the easiest at this point in my life. I really feel like the game changes in pregnancy after you hit that 25 year old mark (or older in my case). Youth gives you the ability to bounce back in ways that it never will again after 25. Even if you aren't pregnant, let's be honest.
I am rounding the end of my first trimester this week and getting ready to enter my second trimester.... exciting stuff, but I thought I would share my tidbit on what happens to your body in the first trimester after 25:
1. Cellulite. Sorry you didn't have it before.... now you have it everywhere... didn't think you could get it in your pit? Your face? Your elbow? Surprise!
2. Back pain. Partly you feel this shooting pain because your body is punishing you... and partly it's because your boobs will become the size of a small aircraft carrier and they will weigh twice that. Trust me... I weighed them.
3. Wanna poop? Not going to happen. Sorry. It's just not. You will see your next normal bowel movement in 9 months.
4. Your hair. It's going to change. And not in a pretty, luscious way... in a kinky, falling out sort of a way. Super special.
5. Shut Eye. You start sleeping around. Not in slutty way. In a 'I'm so exhausted, I just walked from the bed to couch I think I'll just sit on the couch for a......" And you fall asleep sitting up... for two hours. Exhausted.
6. Bloat. Everything on you swells. My toes look like little sausages. My face looks like a swollen china doll. I look like I have a beer gut. It's just all sorts of sexy. Thank goodness for tenting clothes.
7. Food. You think about it. You have to have it. Every meal, every snack, is a constant battle between cravings and logic. Cravings win, just warning you.
8. Annoyances. Everyone will annoy you. Keep it inside. Trust me. In ten minutes you'll love them again... unless it's someone you didn't like to start out with.... then let it fly. Later you can blame it on hormones.
9. Everyone will eventually give you advice. Ignore it. Especially if this isn't your first and every time someone does, mark it in a note book. In 9 months count it up and have a HUGE glass of wine for each one of those times you wished you could drink.... and couldn't.
10. Reminder. Every week in your first trimester is a nagging reminder you have at least 27 more weeks of this... and you are ONLY at the beginning. This is what meditation is for. If you are smart you'll start meditating a lot. Trust me. Do it. For your sake and the babies.... And remember, this is the only time in life you can force people to be nice to you and do stuff for you with no reasoning except for the fact that your fat. And you don't want to do anything.
Happy Tuesday (and pregnancy.... if you're knocked up too!)
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| PS. Look! I have a little baby arm muscle! Yeah! |
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