Yo Mama's Day

Mother's Day.....

It's a day, huh?

I don't like the focus to be just on me, I want it to be collectively on just having fun-for all of us. When you have a toddler who doesn't know if he's going to be happy or angry that day, that sometimes messes up that plan.

I don't need to do any special, just maybe sleep in... just maybe not have to ask anyone to stop fighting, just maybe let me eat pizza in bed without a bra on while watching reality TV. [which I haven't watch in 5 months.... I'm struggling]

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You guys, my toddler is terrified of pooping on the potty. He's been crying for the past 5 minutes because it started to happen and took him by surprise.... I just want to know, does it get better? Will he ever be potty trained? Will I survive? I'm really not sure. 

I think that there should be a support group for potty training strong willed boys. It's a scary situation and I'm not sure who has cried more during this process... and we are no closer than we were LAST YEAR when I started this. 

I do not understand....

I do not get how anyone would want to sit in their own shit. 

That. Sounds. Awful. 

But I guess he likes gross things. 

Yep, I'm judging my toddler. Full judgement. 

[three hours laps, cleaning house, facetiming, phone calls, work]

Oh. My. GOSH. 

You guys. He just went on the potty. 3 hours but he did it! 

Today's going to be a good day!

Before I head off today I wanted to share with you all a few Mother's Day gift ideas, just in case you needed some inspo (click the links):

 A cute necklace

Or maybe a bracelet

Bomb brunch... this it on my list

THE BEST cookies ever, ships anywhere

Chocolate covered strawberries= life

A gift that keeps on giving

Or a personalized gift full of memories!

Or a session to memorialize your love for your mama!!

Happy Thursday, Babes!

Friday tales on a Sunday.

I don't know what is in the air... but it's not good.

I hate to be one to complain... cue the complain train:

This week has been... a week. As I hide behind my laptop my children have just subsided their fighting over an emoji pillow for the first time in over an hour, thanks to my homemade blueberry muffins, that I'm not supposed to have but am lusting over in a really weird way. 

Baking shit, it could solve wars-I swear. 

For now it just solved the fight over the double heart eye emoji pillow from-probably Walmart- that cost a grand total of five bucks and is worth throwing down over between a ten and three year old.

The logic there is really solid you guys. This is a fight worth having. 

I MEAN. 

*cracks open a 4:32 PM Beer....*

Literally. Judge me. 

Toddler realizes that after throwing himself on the floor over the pillow, mommy needs a break so he slowly shuts the door between us. He knows what he did.

It's Friday. 

Some of my friends are going home and getting pretty... some are meeting someone for happy hour.... and I'm sitting here in my mom romper and my mom messy bun and my mom life.... and I'm praying I get to the early bird special in time while knowing FULL well that my kids are going to be assholes the entire time and I will have to correct them. in public but I DO NOT CARE. I need to feel like I'm someone that leaves their house. Even if it's to the early bird special in my grandma cardigan and even if I still make it home by 6 PM to watch animal specials on Netflix.... I just wanna live.....

I JUST WANNA LIVE.

puts half the of the beer back in the fridge for later after sealing the top because.... I can't get too crazy... I have children. 

[also waste not want not]

who have I become?

Could you just not?

Where is your Mother?

'Mini, what are you doing to your brother?' Walks in on her flopping her brother all over as he refuses to cooperate. 

'I'm teaching him how to dab.'

'I don't think he wants to....' as he goes full limp body onto the floor.

Thursday mornings are always a treat..... 

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So.... yesterday was day one of braces. 

Mini and I got in a little tiff. 

I just want to be honest, I feel like y'all deserve that. 

Yesterday wasn't a 'facebook' posting kind of a day.

It was a.... 'I wish parenting had a mental health day' day. 

My daughter got upset at me because I told her that her tongue will get used to the braces and the lisp will go away. Apparently that is.... NOT OKAY. [she wants the lisp to stay?]

She gave me the silent treatment when I informed her of that... after she let me know I was dumb... with her eyes. which is the worst feeling ever. Moms of tweens.... you KNOW.

and then there is the toddler.

THE TODDLER.

He was almost banned from the Y yesterday.... he was standing his ground not to leave after two hours, and they were not amused.... neither was I.... it.... was.... humbling.

I think toddlers continually provide their parents with humbling moments.... and I'm honestly not here for it. 

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Then this morning I wake up to the MOST angelic face in the world asking to climb into bed and snuggle and I just melted.... I realized in that moment, as I have many times before that I rather be 'silent treatment-ed' by my tween and 'humbled' by my toddler every single day than have even a moment without them. They are my people. 

Happy Thursday!! 

The toddler and the tween.

KIDS.

My dog just ate shit.

Sorry if that was too rash. 

My dog. My cute, little, fluffy, adorable Pomeranian just ate my sons shit. From his pull up. That he pulled down. In the middle of the living room. And shit fell from his butt.... on to the floor. 

I'm sitting here, mid first episode of 'Sneaky Pete' and Dal is just standing in the middle of the room- butt out, poop flopped on the floor and I..........................I had a mini asthma attack. Tears flowing. Snot oozing. Mascara decorating my cheeks like I've been at Coachella for two days straight. But no, I just had an asthma attack because my kid shit himself, dropping it all over the floor, and my dog ATE IT.

It wasn't even the eating of the shit that got me, it was how swift she was. She was like a lightening bolt. We didn't see it happen and it was already mid throat. It was almost like a magic trick, a really gross, puke worthy magic trick. I'm scarred for life. I had to book an extra therapy session this week just so I can discuss it. 

But enough about me, how is your day???

Ok-actually more about me. We went to my bestie's daughters birthday party this past weekend. It was so nice. I was able to see her family [my 'I pretend they are my family' family]. And then Dal found out there were balloons being popped and ALL hell broke loose. He made a grand exit from the party, screams, screeches, and straight up madness. We left and the siren sound from his mouth was almost poetic. He fell asleep mid-drive home and still sobbed in his sleep for 25 minutes. How is this life? Who cries in their sleep??

It was a long day Saturday.

But today is a new day, and I am so grateful for that.

Well, I was so grateful for that till I realized it was the middle of April and it was snowing... at about 6 AM this morning.

So, I'm super excited about tomorrow. TOMORROW is a new day.

Tomorrow is hopefully a shit free day. A snow free day. And maybe even..... a laundry free day [ok that was reaching lol we all know that's not true]

Happy Monday ya'll!

He's so lucky he's cute.