Sorry about that.

I took a mini vaca. From you guys. And I'm sorry. But the stress of having to perform was just getting to be too much to handle. I was having night sweats. I was crying in my sleep. I had nightmares that there were giant letters trying to attack me. I had to take a step back. And it was intense. And it was awesome. But then something happened. I started to miss you all. I started to miss your scent. I felt as though....'I was in glass cage of emotion!!!'

So, I'm back. I hope you unhealthily missed me as much as I did you. And it's Thursday to boot. Which means we are just one day closer to the weekend. And I love that. So. Very. Much. But something has been disturbing me, and I wanted to share it with you. My birthday is coming up. In just under two weeks. And I have decided to make it less horrible than the last. There will be no crying. (In public) There will be no temper tantrums (You're welcome mom). And there will be no kicking or screaming (You're welcome EVERYONE).

Here is what I'm going to do instead. In picture form:

1. I will probably stuff my face. A lot. Like this:
      

2.Then I'll probably dry cry...that's allowed, right?

3.Then... I'll try to hide from reality. It might work. Hush yourself.

4.Then this will definitely happen....whatever this is:

 

5. Then I'll find a puddle. And bury myself in it. Just like this:

6. Then I'm going to get a tattoo that I INSTANTLY regret:

7. Then this will happen. Probably for the rest of the day. Helmet INCLUDED:

8. I might allow ONE. SINGLE. TEAR. to fall from my face. Because it is my party, I'll cry if I wanna!

9.

10. Then I'll finish the day like this: While looking at pictures of cats like this: (SNUGGLES) (SLEEP) (SUCCESS)

Handy I am not: Hammock Addition

Yesterday I decided I needed a hammock, and I was ready to have it right then and there. I needed it. I mean every back yard needs a hammock, right? Let me preface this by saying I am not 'handy'   but I try really hard to prove that I am, at least once a year. This was my moment. I was going to prove to myself once and for all, I am handy.

Then this happened: 

First, we went to Menards.... everyone asked if I needed help. Apparently my fear and uncertainty was radiating... 

Then we got a little distracted....

Then I had a rude awakening: The box was not going to fit (because I had to...HAD to have the puppy divider up. No really, I did.)

I do not have a big trunk you can stick your bike in....sorry.

Here are the steps to successfully (kind of) putting together a hammock: 

1. Figure out how to fit the box in your car

2. Get home, pull the box to where you want your hammock

3. Look at the directions, briefly

4. Put the hammock stand together in 15 minutes

5. Put the hammock on and realize it's the wrong size

6. Go back to Menards

7. Put the hammock together like a boss 

 8. And finally, relax

So, I was successful...and even though there was a hiccup, for once I was 'handy'. 

Success. 

Happy Thursday!