KIDS.

My dog just ate shit.

Sorry if that was too rash. 

My dog. My cute, little, fluffy, adorable Pomeranian just ate my sons shit. From his pull up. That he pulled down. In the middle of the living room. And shit fell from his butt.... on to the floor. 

I'm sitting here, mid first episode of 'Sneaky Pete' and Dal is just standing in the middle of the room- butt out, poop flopped on the floor and I..........................I had a mini asthma attack. Tears flowing. Snot oozing. Mascara decorating my cheeks like I've been at Coachella for two days straight. But no, I just had an asthma attack because my kid shit himself, dropping it all over the floor, and my dog ATE IT.

It wasn't even the eating of the shit that got me, it was how swift she was. She was like a lightening bolt. We didn't see it happen and it was already mid throat. It was almost like a magic trick, a really gross, puke worthy magic trick. I'm scarred for life. I had to book an extra therapy session this week just so I can discuss it. 

But enough about me, how is your day???

Ok-actually more about me. We went to my bestie's daughters birthday party this past weekend. It was so nice. I was able to see her family [my 'I pretend they are my family' family]. And then Dal found out there were balloons being popped and ALL hell broke loose. He made a grand exit from the party, screams, screeches, and straight up madness. We left and the siren sound from his mouth was almost poetic. He fell asleep mid-drive home and still sobbed in his sleep for 25 minutes. How is this life? Who cries in their sleep??

It was a long day Saturday.

But today is a new day, and I am so grateful for that.

Well, I was so grateful for that till I realized it was the middle of April and it was snowing... at about 6 AM this morning.

So, I'm super excited about tomorrow. TOMORROW is a new day.

Tomorrow is hopefully a shit free day. A snow free day. And maybe even..... a laundry free day [ok that was reaching lol we all know that's not true]

Happy Monday ya'll!

He's so lucky he's cute.

Monday Confessions.... It's happening, on Tuesday.

So, so, so sorry! It has been over a week of this hasn't it? I have just been out of it, tired (not pregnant), exhausted. I blame the weather. And the dogs. And my new/old bed. I slept in on Sunday till 2.... PM. 2PM!! I haven't done that since my pre-baby days. I loved it. Sleep, it's a novel thing. I think I will try to do that more often. Anyway, Sorry I'm a day late. But yesterday inspired my post for today..... And so did my sleepiness. 

Those Pants

I have some pants. They have been in my life longer than my own child. They are sleep pants. If you know me, you know I don't 'do' sleep pants, but these pants, they are the exception. I am going to give you an unbias detailed account of what these pants look like now:

They have two rips in the seam of the crotch. I have not fixed them (they have been there for over five years, they are probably not going to be fixed any time soon either). There is also a line of discoloration and another hole (on the butt) from where I spilled bleach on them.... and didn't know it. There are paint marks over part of one of the thighs. They are draw string and were originally black all over. They are the softest cotton. Ever. Probably due to constant wear and washing.... 

When I put these pants on I instantly feel ten years younger. I feel giddy. They make me smile. They make feel at home, no matter where I am (usually of course at home because they are not appropriate for public viewing). 

I can't even show you a picture of them. I can't. I'm sorry. The reason these are coming up now is because last night something magical happened. I found these pants when I was searching for something to steal from Mr. S out of our closet. Because obviously his clothes are way more comfortable to wear than my own. But these pants, they are just as comfy as his stuff (Yes, I still stole a shirt from him..because I needed too... OK?) And I realized as I was putting these heavenly pants on that Mr. S had never witnessed the magic that was THESE PANTS. I blushed. I actually blushed when I realized that normal people don't wear pants like this and he was going to see me in one of my truest forms. But then I got over it and walked in the room like I owned those pants. And he once again showed me how awesome he was by not only not judging my pants, but not being surprised that I would wear something like them on the reg. I'm probably going to wear them today too. Comfort: It's what's for dinner. And Sleep. And my life right now. Because the world is like my own personal nap cot these days. 

Happy Tuesday!!

PS:

We finally did family Pictures with Krystal Shaw Photography. Blog to follow at how much I love how our pictures turned out! (She's awesome so it's not surprising)

Monday Moments.

Do you just have those days where you can't get started? I have been going since 5:45 AM and I have gotten a lot done but I haven't really been into it. There is pumpkin bread in the oven. A sleepy/sick baby that stayed home from school today in our Master, laundry has all been cleaned, folded, and put away... and the kitchen is almost completely clean.... but my head just hasn't been in today. I guess there isn't much thought that needs to go into a Monday though, right? 

So instead I will plan my menu for the week, vacuum, and watch HBO kids with my Mini.....

Here's what has been going on in our neck of the woods:

We've had family birthdays, dance classes, puppy snuggles, and electronic shopping:

 New house items, coffee with cats, Italian beef, and healthy crap for breakfast:

Have a good Monday, I am pretty sure that I am going to stuff my face with pumpkin bread, and cover it with butter cream icing now. Be jealous. 

Check it out: https://www.facebook.com/bethaniesaid

Red Alert: Stila 'Stay All Day' Review

It's a makeup review! I know it's been a while and I'm so excited I found something worth reviewing! Two months ago I was sent a Stila product in my Birchbox. (I hope you are already subscribed... if now subscribe here: Birchbox Subscription ) I looked at it for a hot second and then put it away purely because of the color. It was VIVID red. I have semi-rather large lips and the bolder the color they are the more massive they appear on my face.... at least that is how I feel. So I dismissed the product and went on my merry way.

This past Friday I was cleaning out some of my makeup collection (hoarding) and saw this again: 

I thought, why not give it a try. I'm not going to lie to you I did not believe that it would stay all day or that it would be anything that I would be interested in.... but I tried it anyway. 

First off, it's not really a lipstick. It's like a gloss that dries into a matte finish, liquid lipstick...whatever. I did not put a gloss over it because I was not sure if that would affect the integrity of the 'stay all day'. I personally liked the matte finish. I ate a meal, kissed my Mini and my other half multiple times, drank too much Starbucks, and did not reapply all day. This is how it held up:

First hour. Obviously felt B.A. with a color this bold. Make sure you put it everywhere you want. Note the inside of my lips I missed. 

Hour 4. Staying strong after an Americano and sandwich.

Hour 6. (Instagram filter. Deal with it.) Still staying strong. Made it through tea and kisses (AND DOES NOT SMUDGE OR LEAVE A MARK) Score. 

Hour 8. Finally after hours I started to see wear on the inside of my lips. 

All in all I was shocked. I loved the wear. It lasted 8 hours without issue. It doesn't rub off. And after 8 hours I had to scrub it off with face wash. But once off it doesn't leave a stain on your lips which I love, especially with such a bold color. 

I totally recommend this product (I ordered it in a lighter color for more daily wear though). 

Happy Monday!

Monday Confessions: Espresso Yourself.

A long, long time ago in a galaxy.... well, actually in the same town I live in now I used to work. A lot. A lot more than I do now, and of course, for a fraction of the pay. I worked three jobs and probably would have died if I didn't slow it down a bit there after a while. I was a barista in the morning, an assistant office manager of a real estate broker, and a candlestick maker.... (no not really.) I worked a lot, as you can well imagine. Although my favorite job (the only one that I enjoyed) was working as a barista. I met some fabulous people and some of my greatest memories came from that time. The funny thing about me becoming a barista was that I never drank coffee. Ever. Didn't really like it, so I thought I wouldn't be tempted to start just because I was surrounded by it almost every day. (Yeah.... I was not so bright back then, thank goodness I'm a genius now.)

Within the first week. Day. Hour. whatever.. I had espresso.... and it changed my life. I realized that I was invincible. I could do anything with this new liquid courage.... screw alcohol, espresso gave me WINGS! It probably didn't help that I started to substitute meals with espresso drinks, that sometimes we would do espresso races....(that will be another post, it has rules and explanations that take longer than I can share at this moment... but it was intense and a lot of caffeine was consumed in a very short period of time), and then when my shift was over I would get a drink to go....because that was healthy for my digestive system, heart, and brain......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................not.

This addiction continued until I found out I was pregnant and had to quit cold turkey. It was traumatic to say the least and I didn't know if I would ever recover from the lack of copious amounts of caffeine that was usually running through my blood stream. I did. I actually was fine. When the time came when I could drink caffeine again I knew that I needed to limit my intake. The risk was just too high that I, once again, would become codependent on my personal choice of liquid...espressssssooooo. Now I like to limit it to three shots and some water.... A simple Americano. I am keeping it under raps.... honestly, nothing to worry about here. I've got this. I'm okay now. You can leave me alone in the room with an espresso maker and not be worried. But I don't recommend that you do that. Just in case. I'm just saying... lets not risk it. 

Happy Monday!!!!! 

Me back in the day Circa 2006.... on Espresso. 

How to not pass out.

Well, it's Monday again.... that's always something to not look forward too. Ever. I am starting to resent Sunday's because they end so fast. But here we are....and you know what Monday brings?? Confessions. This week my confession is pretty relevant to the happenings of my day so far: NEEDLES.

I hate shots. I HATE shots. I can't help it, I've always been this way, and we do not mesh well, shots and me.

When I was younger my dad would have to take off work to be able to come with when it was time for me to get a shot because they need someone to hold me down...... I had tendency to kick and/or hit whoever was yielding the needle. There may have been a time when it took more than just one (5) person to hold me down. It was not pleasant. I still have a scar from that episode. No, I'm not joking for dramatic effect it is really there.

This all being said, today I had to get my blood drawn, and I was not excited about it. I tried to sleep through the alarm (Thanks mom for the wake up call). I tried to get stuck in traffic. I tried to do many things to avoid this, but I still made it in time..... and I'm a big girl. (Thought process: I can handle it. Even if I don't want too. Because I may have passed out the past six time's I've had my blood drawn before hand. But I can do this. I am not a child anymore. Even though I really was bummed I had to drive myself there. Because I am a big ole wimp....okay??)

So I made it into the room and did my whole spiel, "I don't do needs well, I may pass out, I promise I will try not to hit you, I cannot promise I won't cry, will you hold me afterwards......" The usual. They were super understanding. They made me lay down, pep talked me, and then it happened. I may have blacked out. I may have woken up to being held in the arms of a very nice German lady singing me Edelweiss..... No big deal.

I survived. I did have to stop a few times to make sure I didn't pass out again on the way home....thank goodness there was a mall, Ulta, and Starbucks on the way home to make sure I was healthy enough to drive.

I guess this was not really a good way to teach you how not to pass out at all, huh? Rather this was just a straight up embarrassing confessional. You're welcome. I think I'll take a nap now.... or just pass out.... or whatever you want to call it....so.... much....blood... loss................

Orange arm. Bloody.