Things that make you go 'Ew'

Want to know the fastest way for me to LOATH you? 

Do you?

Here it is: 

PSA; Eating your damn food while talking on your Instagram stories..... Honestly, who do you think you are? That you're cute enough to get away with, literally, the most disgusting habit ever. You aren't cute, you should have learned how to chew with your mouth closed at two... like BOTH of my children. It can ruin a full hour of my day... so please, close your mouth... take the two seconds to swallow before you start filming your dog dancing, or your kid reciting Edger Allan Poe, or an update of your booty gains. Please. Thank you. God bless. 

Ok, I won't loath you but I will judge you. Promise.

As I am sitting here, getting ready for the day-cleaning up last nights mayhem.... trying to figure out dinner-something crock pot related since tonight is Mini's musical..... I get a phone call, 'Mrs. Smith... this is Mini's teacher, she forgot her tambourine do you mind bringing it to school?' 

It's 8 AM, first of all I didn't OK the tambourine coming home in the first place.... second of all-if I bring it back to school it better stay there. And third, do you guys want a Toddler to help rehearse? Because he's free.

Speaking of the Toddler, he just graced me with his present for a snack... not to see me, just because he needs a snack while he builds Lego towers upstairs. But in true him form he has dressed himself.... in checker sweat pants and suspenders... because how else would you wear suspenders? He says he wants to be a doctor but he definitely could make it as an influencer if that back fires.... [if you detect sarcasm I think we just became best friends]

 Anywhoooo....

I think I am finally forgiving the chopping I had to witness this morning VIA social media.... I'm recovered. I can finally have a peaceful day, delivering tambourines, picking up musical dresses and flowers and bread [unrelated, we just need bread]......

I hope y'all have a beautiful Tuesday! 

Fact: Tambourines don't have a mute button....and that is awful.

Glossy.

Dear Parents of Daughters:

I wore overalls and cargo pants. I was awkward and ill-fitting. I had kindergarten clips in my hair and I hid behind glasses that I hoped would hide my bushy eyebrows and uneven smile. I laughed too loud and thought that was wrong. I was gangly and weird and not like all the petite girls I was growing up around. I did not ever imagine I would grow out of that stage, I thought that stage was just...me.

Gangly.

Then Vogue happened and later, Bazaar.

Placed in front of me was something I did not understand but I wanted to know more. They transformed me, and they still do. 

It makes me disheartened when I read/hear people say, "Don't let your daughters look at fashion magazines." I don't think anyone should just look, but rather they should read. Let her read fashion magazines. Let her open Vogue and know what it feels like to open a new world. A world with stories and dreams. A world without duckfaces or instagram filters, without implants or raccoon eyes.... a world that she can learn that there is more to life than whatever she might thing is reality. 

I almost had forgotten the joy I have always felt when opening up a big, glossy issue and falling into its articles until my Bazaar's Fall Fashion Issue arrived. I reverted back to 15. Back to my teens when I went from awkward to Ford Model and learned I wasn't weird, I was just in the wrong reality.... my world needed to be bigger and I started to emulate the models I saw and because of them I learned how to do my hair and my makeup... and even find jeans that fit. And I went from an awkward Sophomore to a model. Even just for a little bit, it was what I needed to see that I maybe 'weird' to small town mentally limited peons, but to Chicago, New York, Tokyo, Berlin, and Milan.... I was in demand.

From this....

To this.

So please, let her read Vogue, let her fall into Bazaar, let her dream.... for she maybe, just maybe will find herself. Let her go beyond the pictures and see the world that is: Fashion.  

(And if you raise her right.... she still will have all this weirdness going on even when she's pushing 30: