The Outsiders.

When I was in seventh grade I had the most interesting man come into my life. He was my teacher. He taught me how to love reading. He taught me how to have a voice. And he taught me to not give a damn.[something I had to relearn many times over throughout the years] but he was at the forefront of so many things I have become now.

He introduced me to the book, The Outsiders, midway through my school year in seventh grade. He had a feeling I would like it. He was right. It took me about a day of tears, laughter and heart wrenching pain to finish it. And then I read it again.... little did I know how much that book would mean to me as I got older. 

A few years after I read the book, I gave it to my brother to read. He loved reading and instantly agreed this was 'our book'.... because we had a very codependent relationship and did literally everything together.... and I am so glad we did. 

As I went through some of the trials of life and heartache with him later on in our lives, I started calling him 'Ponyboy', from the book. It just was a thing. He was the youngest. He was a genius [based on IQ, not me bragging] but he struggled within himself to find his purpose and to find who he was. 

A phrase used in the book, was, "Stay gold" they used this phrase as the urban dictionary describes, as to say stay innocent and pure.... their way of saying good bye. 

We both loved that phrase, and I used to say that to him.... especially when he was going through a hard time... struggling with his demons.... I always felt that it was a way to bring him back. 

After he passed away, I knew-I believe-that same day, if I was to memorialize him on my body I could only ever get that phrase.

Stay Gold. 

Silly to think I used it so many times to bring him back, and now it is a phrase I tell myself to bring myself back to the present when I am missing him so much it hurts every part of me. 

Stay Gold. 

It may mean nothing to anyone else, but to me it means the world. 

So yesterday with two of my favorite people I finally got my tattoo for him.

It had to be in typewriter font, because that boy loved his typewriter more than many people knew. And that was just one of the adorable things about him. 

emo selfie. 

It's a million degrees out....

As I slowly ride this power wheel back to the garage.... I really contemplate my life.....

Who am I?

I am a 31 year old mother of two riding a GMC power wheel back to the garage before a storm because I'm to tired to push it 100 ft back. What does that make me? I don't know.... and I don't really care as long as there is a beer at the end of this ride.

It has only been four weeks...... how? I feel as though it's been a year since school was in session. It honestly has been a blast, but it's been long. Do you guys relate?

It has been hands down the most relaxing break, ever.

But have I mentioned....I have a strong willed toddler??

Someone hand me a beer. 

Also, I am still sore from yesterday's 3 minute jump session in the trampoline. What has my body become? [eats my forth piece of pizza of the day]

I haven't given up, I'm just accepting that I am living my best life.

I am proud to report that I have FINALLY recovered from the hangover of 2018.... 6 days later.... fully. I am not a 'shots' kind of girl.... but I pride myself on my efforts. I am no quitter.

THANK. GOD. I finally got the stupid thing in the garage. That. WAS. A workout..... *adds workout to myfitnesspal* god I am #fitnessgoals.....

On to my HIIT workout, we're doing arms today reps on reps of this weighted beer curl, making sure to use equal weights in each arm....... I may DOUBLE fist. For my workout. You know. Duh. #fitmom.

I am sorry, I hate being one of 'those girls' always talking about working out, but I want to inspire others in my quest for total body transformation.

Happy Monday gals, we've got this.

Blocking all those haters that say you can't have a good time working out.