Heyyyy guys.....
Still 30.
Like we were 27 yesterday. It's so damn cute to be 27. But 27 is not 30.... and 30 is 50. If you're 30 you get that last reference in your SOUL.
I'm exhausted. I would MUCH rather take multiple naps than have a social life.... be active.... or just function at all. You guys, it's exhausting being 30. [Probably a direct correlation to my low T and aggressively active 3 year old]
But I AM TIRED. Oh you want to hang out after 3:45 PM on a school night?? Are you insane?? I have to wake up at 6 AM. I can't party like I used too. {Still love you though.... talk again in 15 when the youngest graduates... after I nap?}
New Life Excuses that have massive truths in them:
-Sorry my dog wants to lick my other dog and I want to film it, because they are amazing.
-Sorry my oldest wants to read Oliver Twist to me.
-Sorry my snake is shedding tonight.
-Sorry my kid is creating an interpretive dance and I need to find music for him.
-Sorry I'm busy, my lizard wants to watch Kimmy Shmidt tonight, thanks though.
The older I get the more I think how in the world are we trusted to be adults at 18? How are we having kids in our 20s? How are we allowed to live on our own before 40? We're idiots just trying to keep it together and we have NO clue what we're doing. Facebook us is not real us.... Facebook us is bullshit covered in glitter while we're losing our minds in the middle of a grocery store in real life being controlled by a very young human with the personality of a narcissistic communist and the mouth of sailor they inherited from us. And honestly without them telling us what to do we would be devastated, please tell me how that is not a mess? We are a shit show forced by social media to portray a perfect bubble of quaffed hair and caked faces and we're praised when we give just a *little* real moment of ourselves in some DEEP facebook post about our weaknesses or our imperfections every 6 months or so.... 'She's so real'.
Cue me puking in my mouth. I'm not a bitch-promise-I am just too tired to believe anyone is that PTO perfect. I have kids. THE JIG IS UP.... [If you're into being exhausted and don't judge sweat pants as formal for drinks, I'll meet you after school at Chilis and probably give you a hug, because you know what?? You're a damn hero and I'm here for it.]
So I'm going to sit here, I may have some cake before 9 AM.... I WILL drive my kid to school in a robe and face mask.... I will yell at my toddler.... he's a jerk.... I will get McDonald's fries.... I will drink a beer before 5 PM.... and I will plate Olive Garden as my own and lie through my teeth about my homemade Alfredo sauce, because I am tired, I am 30 and I don't want to do anything more than that. AND THAT.... my friends, is OK.
Like we were 27 yesterday. It's so damn cute to be 27. But 27 is not 30.... and 30 is 50. If you're 30 you get that last reference in your SOUL.
I'm exhausted. I would MUCH rather take multiple naps than have a social life.... be active.... or just function at all. You guys, it's exhausting being 30. [Probably a direct correlation to my low T and aggressively active 3 year old]
But I AM TIRED. Oh you want to hang out after 3:45 PM on a school night?? Are you insane?? I have to wake up at 6 AM. I can't party like I used too. {Still love you though.... talk again in 15 when the youngest graduates... after I nap?}
New Life Excuses that have massive truths in them:
-Sorry my dog wants to lick my other dog and I want to film it, because they are amazing.
-Sorry my oldest wants to read Oliver Twist to me.
-Sorry my snake is shedding tonight.
-Sorry my kid is creating an interpretive dance and I need to find music for him.
-Sorry I'm busy, my lizard wants to watch Kimmy Shmidt tonight, thanks though.
The older I get the more I think how in the world are we trusted to be adults at 18? How are we having kids in our 20s? How are we allowed to live on our own before 40? We're idiots just trying to keep it together and we have NO clue what we're doing. Facebook us is not real us.... Facebook us is bullshit covered in glitter while we're losing our minds in the middle of a grocery store in real life being controlled by a very young human with the personality of a narcissistic communist and the mouth of sailor they inherited from us. And honestly without them telling us what to do we would be devastated, please tell me how that is not a mess? We are a shit show forced by social media to portray a perfect bubble of quaffed hair and caked faces and we're praised when we give just a *little* real moment of ourselves in some DEEP facebook post about our weaknesses or our imperfections every 6 months or so.... 'She's so real'.
Cue me puking in my mouth. I'm not a bitch-promise-I am just too tired to believe anyone is that PTO perfect. I have kids. THE JIG IS UP.... [If you're into being exhausted and don't judge sweat pants as formal for drinks, I'll meet you after school at Chilis and probably give you a hug, because you know what?? You're a damn hero and I'm here for it.]
So I'm going to sit here, I may have some cake before 9 AM.... I WILL drive my kid to school in a robe and face mask.... I will yell at my toddler.... he's a jerk.... I will get McDonald's fries.... I will drink a beer before 5 PM.... and I will plate Olive Garden as my own and lie through my teeth about my homemade Alfredo sauce, because I am tired, I am 30 and I don't want to do anything more than that. AND THAT.... my friends, is OK.
 |
| Honestly?? I'm tired. |
0 comments
Post a Comment