Friday tales on a Sunday.

I don't know what is in the air... but it's not good.

I hate to be one to complain... cue the complain train:

This week has been... a week. As I hide behind my laptop my children have just subsided their fighting over an emoji pillow for the first time in over an hour, thanks to my homemade blueberry muffins, that I'm not supposed to have but am lusting over in a really weird way. 

Baking shit, it could solve wars-I swear. 

For now it just solved the fight over the double heart eye emoji pillow from-probably Walmart- that cost a grand total of five bucks and is worth throwing down over between a ten and three year old.

The logic there is really solid you guys. This is a fight worth having. 

I MEAN. 

*cracks open a 4:32 PM Beer....*

Literally. Judge me. 

Toddler realizes that after throwing himself on the floor over the pillow, mommy needs a break so he slowly shuts the door between us. He knows what he did.

It's Friday. 

Some of my friends are going home and getting pretty... some are meeting someone for happy hour.... and I'm sitting here in my mom romper and my mom messy bun and my mom life.... and I'm praying I get to the early bird special in time while knowing FULL well that my kids are going to be assholes the entire time and I will have to correct them. in public but I DO NOT CARE. I need to feel like I'm someone that leaves their house. Even if it's to the early bird special in my grandma cardigan and even if I still make it home by 6 PM to watch animal specials on Netflix.... I just wanna live.....

I JUST WANNA LIVE.

puts half the of the beer back in the fridge for later after sealing the top because.... I can't get too crazy... I have children. 

[also waste not want not]

who have I become?

Could you just not?

Oldie but Goodie (Two year Anniversary Post)

It has been two years since the dreaded eyebrow incident of 2011. So in honor of that I decided to pull the original post for my 'Love and Other Stories' blog and post it here for all of you! Enjoy:

~

Houston, we have two problems. They are atop my forehead and they are tricky little buggers.

See here's the thing. I should not be trusted with tweezers. I grew up a tomboy up in trees or in a fort somewhere, and while I've come accustom to makeup and hair brushes (on occasion) I have never been gifted in grooming (facial grooming).

So I sat there for a few moments...stunned you could say....today. I was in front of the mirror. The logical thing to do would have been to cry but I did not cry. I laughed. I laughed for a while before I realized this is a problem. I drove as fast as I could to Wal-mart, spent $20 in cosmetic fix-it hopes...

So I did what every logic grownup woman would do, I sat there and tried every eyebrow type pencil possible. One was too light. One was too liquid-y. One did not show up. One looked too dark, but it was my last hope. I just kept applying and applying...it was a bad idea. Really bad. Though I am sure I am the spitting image of Groucho Marx's twin (from another mother).

Desperate Ideas:

Cover my face up...for weeks.

Or make really weird faces...for weeks.

                           

Could I just pull them off and start over?? Or just apply new ones....

Till then I guess I rather be brow-less...then Groucho. It's going to be a long couple of weeks.