Memories.

I was thinking today.... this is what happens when I'm sick in bed.... It probably isn't for the best but it happened anyway. I was thinking about the past. How different life is this year from last year. I am trying to redirect my sadness these days to happiness, because there is so much to be grateful for this year that I want to look at life half full again for the first time in in almost four months. But, I am realistic. And more than not I have sad days... and more than not things people say or do takes me back to sad times, sad thoughts, a missing that I just cannot explain. It's a hollow, dark abyss in my heart that will take time and love to heal, I'm sure. 

So today I thought about the happy times I had when I was pregnant with Mini. And I thought of a ridiculously funny memory when I was nine months pregnant.

My younger brother Tyler (That passed in October) never really got the 'idea' of pregnancy. We lived together at the time and he never really got why I was annoyed at 4 AM when he recorded music... but that was part of his charm, he definitely played to the beat of his own drum. Well, December 15th I was due, that date came and went and Tyler was leaving town at the end of the month. So he took it upon himself to try and induce my pregnancy one night before he left. He woke me up from my third nap of the day at around 8... I was not amused. But I got up and he told me I needed to put a dress on (because that's what you want to do when you're 41 weeks pregnant) and he took me down town Orlando. On the way we picked up a few friends. Some very colorful characters and we made our way to iBar. They thought they had found the perfect way to induce me, clubbing. Has anyone been downtown Orlando late at night? It's not the safest of areas... during the day. You get the idea. I was terrified (the fear alone should have started contractions). But I stuck with it, and we danced, and it still is one of my favorite memories of Tyler. Funny enough most of my memories that make me giggle about our adventures have to do with dancing.... but those I am sure I will divulge some other time. Thank you for letting me ramble. Don't forget to love today. You'll never know how important it is, usually till it's a memory. 

8 Months pregnant with Mini, Pelican Beach, FL.