It's my Party.

I've been mad. Mad at the universe. No, not God, no, not my brother. They both did what they had to do and I am at peace with that... but I am mad at the natural progression of things. 

Tomorrow is my birthday... my pregnant birthday and this is my first birthday without him.... and forever more it will be that way. I can't stop that. I don't have any control of that. This is the way it is.

But I am mad because I know how tomorrow would have been different if he was here still and that is what I can't stand....

I know that he would try to help me forget that I was super pregnant... I know he would get me something ridiculous that I didn't need but would love. He would introduce me to some band that I wouldn't like but eventually would find myself singing too and being in love with for the rest of my life. He would take me dancing to our favorite dance studio... he would definitely take me for sushi. We would eat too much because he would order too much, because 'I needed it.' He would probably take my phone away from me so he could have my undivided attention. After we danced and ate, it would probably past my point of exhaustion (usually anything after 9 pm, but with him it would be 3 am easy) we would get coffee.... because that was just something he would do. I would probably pass out a few times... and when I was awake enough we would tell stories about our lives... and we both would know about them because we both were there.... that's still a hard part for me. Knowing my funny stories aren't nearly as funny as they used to be... because he isn't telling them. And no one gets why they are so great. Not the way he did, not the way we did when we were together. 

So tomorrow I am older... but he will be forever young. And today is just another day that reminds me that I have lost a large part of my youth. I lost a big chunk of who I was till last Fall. And though I am still me, I'm not who I was and I never will be able to again.

Today I feel selfish, but that is okay to be.... it's my party, I can cry if I want too... Right?

I'll always know my place in his heart... but it doesn't make missing him any easier.

27.

I am stuffing my face with a chocolate sour cream cake filled with chocolate mousse covered in chocolate ganache. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it. Why am I doing this, you may ask?

I'm turning 27 tomorrow, I will also be 27 weeks pregnant and officially in my third trimester. So, I deserve the cake. The cake deserves me. The fact that it made me swell up so much I had to take my bra off to finish it means nothing to me at this time.

Pregnancy.... it's a lot of kicks.

Man this cake is good.

Things I've learned over my second trimester now that it finally is coming to a close:

1. Sodium is not my friend, but I have an unhealthy love for it all the same.

2. Sometimes getting dressed is just too much work.

3. I'm pretty much a super hero.... and I should get way more high fives than I have been getting....

4. The belly band is a sufficating life saver... you must choose: back relief without the ability to breathe or a low belly and back pain....

5. If you aren't nice to me during my pregnancy... you don't get to hold my baby... I don't care who you are.

6. Pregnancy is magical and all that crap but I swear I may cry the first night I don't feel something kicking me at night, even if it is only for an hour.

7. I love bikinis though it may be unsightly for those around me, it's the only thing that doesn't constrict me.... hence the kiddy pool I just bought. No one needs to see this in all it's glory.

8. After my first trimester the emotions have subsided. Thank God. Wanting to cry all the time was a little much. Now I just cry when people hurt my feelings or call me thick. Both logical things to cry about.

9. I have lost my passion... for shopping. It's really devistating (not for my husband, I'm sure) but my growing waste line has really limited my joy for clothes these days. I keep trying to remind myself I only have 13 weeks till I can start enjoying it again... but it seems so long from now!

10. Finally, I can't tie my shoes anymore without sitting down first. I am almost 27 and I can't bend over. I am now going finish this cake... because I can.

Yesterday was a better day food wise... tomorrow will be too. Some days you just need to embrace the bump... and indulge.

Enjoying out Summer Break so far :)

Lazy Girls Workout Schedule

I like to avoid this conversation at all cost because it is...sticky. 

I know when you are pregnant you don't want to workout, you don't want to get out of bed half the time. Trust me. I get it. I'm there most days. 

I also know that cravings are no joke. I just had a chocolate cone dipped in chocolate with cheese curds on the side from DQ,

I am all about embracing pregnancy... the good, the bad, and the uncomfortable.... I'm all about it. 

With my first pregnancy I gained over 45 pounds... and I was 20 pounds lighter than I am today but that was seven years ago... I'm older and not as susseptable to change these days.

So when I found out I was pregnant this time around I wanted to do things differently... not for my husband, not for my family, not for the public opinion... I wanted to be the healthiest version of myself for my baby and me. 

I started to workout the moment that I found out I was growing Mr. Man... and I have had waves of not working out (which is to be expected with pregnancy exhaustion) but I've stayed pretty consistent. I know my limitations, and I continue to consult with my doctor when I want to try new things, or increase what I am consistently doing.

I have gained muscle and I feel stronger than I have in years.... but I am pacing myself at the same time. What I have found that works for me is pretty much a variation of the following:

(I don't have pictures or diagrams but if you want that, I can post them next time just let me know!)

Three days a week I spin on my bike 25-40 minutes at a medium speed and retention.

 Then I will try to add 15-20 minutes of regulated reps (HIIT method: High intensity interval training) of workouts approved for preggo bumps like me:

I am an addict to:

1. squats (weighted, wide, side squats, etc variations)

2. leg lift variations

3.Russian twists

4. lunges

5. Kettle Bell Swings

6. High Knee (harder to do the further your pregnancy)

7. Planking

8. Pushup rotations

9. And arm isolated workouts 

I find that HIIT workouts get the fastest results for me personally without expending my whole days energy. 

 

On the days that I don't spin I try to do my HIIT workouts for 30 minutes and then again later in the day for 10-20... My goal is to workout 5 days a week. Some weeks it's less, some weeks it's more. But I never overdo myself, and you really should not when you are pregnant. On the days I rest I stay active as much as I can, cleaning, painting, etc. But I know that around 4/5 at night I am done and I let myself rest. Rest is key for a healthy pregnancy no matter who you are! I hope this helps mama's out there that are trying to stay in shape while pregnant!

Happy Wednesday!

23 Weeks Pregnant.

I'll be 6 months this Friday and I really can't believe how fast it has gone... It obviously hasn't been easy but I am so excited I'm over halfway done. I cannot wait to meet our little man! 

We have been planning our Summer and I can't wait to get started. Here is my 23 week update:

23 Weeks:

How far along am I: 23 weeks

Gender: Boy

Weight Gain: Two Pounds

What I'm wearing: Officially wore my last pair of jeans last Friday

Stretch Marks: None 

Belly Button, in or out: In, partly

Sleep: Horrible, but with my mountain of strategic pillows I am managing

Missing Something? I am missing the feeling of not being kicked constantly

Movement: Nonstop, the ultrasound tech said she had never seen such an active baby

Cravings: Change every two seconds

Sick? No

Looking Forward To: Sitting up without help... in four months :)

Favorites Last Week: Spending time with my family this weekend

 

We are all so excited about this journey, and we are even more excited about meeting our new addition! 

Happy Monday!

Cake.

Back in my third trimester I was living in warm Florida and I was very specific on what I did and did not want to eat. Prime Rib every night, sweet tea from Wendy's and a large fry for lunch, and usually for breakfast.... a large slice of white cake with white icing (that was the actual description on the container) from the bakery at Publix. Well, the sweet tea craving came back a few weeks ago.... and the steak craving is still at bay but that cake... that freaking cake is haunting my dreams.... I literally looked up FedEx charges for overnighting a whole cake. I did. Okay?

Turns out it takes a little more than I thought to get the cake here. So, though I really should be working out right now... I am heading to the grocery store to see if their cake is anything like Publix.... since now I'm so far away from my cake. If I wasn't pregnant I wouldn't want it... it really isn't that good. But, when you're pregnant there is no explanation for the things that we force feed ourselves. I know I'm not alone so don't even act like you (if you are pregnant) are not force feeding yourself twizzlers and fried chicken with a frosty right now. Don't EVEN......

Well... I am going to jog out to the car.... and get some cake.... I'll eat it after my workout, of course, post workout meal... you know... like a responsible, in control, human being.... or I may take a fork with me and and eat it on the way home... because I'm pregnant... and I'm an adult... and I do what I want.

21 weeks pregnant!

I'm back! I took a little hiatus, it has been crazy busy around here lately. And I'm growing steadily :)

I may or may not be eating candy as I type.... after I just finished a plate of peppered tomatoes. This is my pregnancy in a nutshell.

I am now just shy of 22 weeks pregnant, and feeling every inch of it. I am still at my starting weight, I went down the first few weeks of pregnancy and now am back at my start weight. I went to see my doctor today and she reassured me that I was okay at this weight and I only have to gain another two by next month.... I am sure I can make that happen :)

We found out.... we are having a boy!! I am so excited, we all are. And I've already started on the nursery. We don't have much but it is getting there and I can't wait to show you guys when it is all done!

Last week I finally had to slow down my workouts and I took a week off, and this week I've been trying to stay busy while being smart about what I'm doing, I am finally seeing my limitations. I try to remind myself that I only have 4.5 months to go (or less) before I can bet back to my old self... or better!

Next week I go in for more set measurements and hopefully my due date (officially) today she let know that he might be here a little sooner than expected but I don't want to get my hopes up yet....

Our Summer is already booking up and I can't wait to see how it all goes, I love how fun it already has been... I'm just hoping that I can keep up!

21 weeks pregnant!

Week 17. Pregnancy Real Life Realizations.

I am almost half way done with my pregnancy, even though it feels like I have a LONG way to go. And I do. but at least I am a few short weeks away from my halfway mark. That means something to me... especially with how I've been feeling lately....

I've learned a lot about the body and how it changes during pregnancy.... so many changes.... so much:

1. Case in point, at this moment I NEED a brownie... like it's not even funny. I am tempted to wake Mini up and take her to the store so I can get a brownie. Because I need it THAT BAD. 

2. I am more excited about my pregnancy pillow coming in than anything else in my life right now.... like tracking it's shipping at this moment, excited. 

3. I went to Wal-mart (ugh) and bought those stretchy ho-y neon color bras ($4.97 each) and I'm not afraid to say they are making my day.... at this point in pregnancy boobs are gross and I'm sick of buying $80 bras every two weeks.... because they are ugly... and gross.... just like pregnancy boobs. #granniebrastatus

4. Sometimes you drive far distances for food that you would never normally eat/drive to get. I'm not ashamed.

5. I wear slippers in public. No, I'm not lying. I own about 4 different pairs and they all have sole bottoms (like shoes) but they're slippers... and I wear them in public. It's embarrassing...and somewhat gross... but my feet enjoy it. And really, I don't mind the judgment, I'm swollen and nasty all over. Pregnancy... it's sexy. Super sexy.

6. I probably hate you at some point during the day if I know you.... No, you didn't do anything... I'm just mad, and at that moment I'm mad at you. Don't try to fix it. Don't try to make me happy... It will probably make me more annoyed... wait ten minutes, it'll change. And then I will love you again.

7. If something doesn't hold my attention within ten minutes, I will fall asleep. Sitting up, laying down, standing... It doesn't matter, I will pass out.

8. Yoga pants. I have about 10-50 pairs, there is no such thing as to many during pregnancy....

9. Self-tanner makes me happy. Being pale is super depressing when you're roly poly...

10. Number one thing that I have learned so far, Never... never... go to a pound, rescue, pet store, when you are pregnant. You will adopt everything. EVERYTHING. And if you are married to a man like Mr. S, he probably will hardly say no, which means your house will become a barn.... and then you will, at some point, during your constant exhaustion completely regret your decision. (At which point certain people will say, "I told you so" and they will be right). 

Well, Saturday we find out the gender... and I can't wait to share with you all!! Happy Thursday!

All they are good for these days.... Cupholder status. :)

The Bump came out last weekend!