How To.... Watch Reality TV. (Real Housewives' Edition)

There are many times in life that I have wanted so badly to have a manual....a 'how to'.... for a situation, event, or life moment. I think that many times those are warranted in areas that are still lacking guides. I believe that though I am not well versed on many areas, there are a few that I am able to lend my expertise in providing 'how to's for those around me that are in need.

For me personally I am well versed on the Reality show stylings' of those 'Real Housewives' on Bravo.... so we are going to use them as our example show(s) on what to expect when viewing reality TV.

Here we go...

1. There will probably be someone that is not happy. Ever. And she (or he) will make this face a lot:

2. Then there is going to be that couple that met on the reality TV.. and they will really have chemistry....

3. And then they will get married. Because it's definitely going to last.

4. Then there will be a chick like this... and her 'sexy' look will probably give you nightmares....

5. Most everyone on the show will have a really hard time moving their face... so you won't always know if they are mad, scared, or having a bowl movement:

6. There will always be a chance that everyone will be wearing bikinis... because it's normal practice to do in day to day living as a housewife. (Especially if you are not in fact a housewife)

Girlfriend Housewife

7. There will be some fashion choices that will be questionable.. and some how they will just keep happening. Because when you're a housewife, you don't follow fashion, fashion follows you.

8. There will be one chick that is so ridiculous that you will automatically smile whenever she does something else ridiculous... which is usually every time. And she'll be so weirdly fabulous that she will get her own spin off show... that you will end up watching religiously as well.

9. Then there will be that SUPER weird couple that you secretly love watching that will leave the show and you secretly will wish that they get their own show but they are way too smart to do that and ruin their marriage:

10. And at the end of all of it, there will always be this guy... and he's NOT going to approve of any of this: 

I don't know if that really was a 'how to' at all.... but, whatever. You're more educated now on important stuff and I feel like a better person because I know I did that for you. You're welcome. You are now a little more awesome than you were before...if you were before. If not, now you are less horrible than you were before. 

Yep. It's Tuesday.