Why is there fur in my cupcake?

So I have a massive dog. 

He's like, huge. 

No not like your Lab.

NO not like your Rott.

He's still bigger. A lot bigger. 

About 160 big. 

He broke my Dyson vacuum when he was only a year and half old by the sheer volume of hair he produces. [double coat year round]

He was harder to console than my infant the first 9 months of his life. 

His craps are bigger than my Pomeranian.

He has a severely sensitive stomach AKA when he gets the butt squirts it's a damn flood. 

He's a week away from being 3 and he's still my big, perfect baby. 

But this week... he's had a week. It's almost like he knows it's almost his birthday and he's not ready for it. He's overwhelmed you guys. Like, I'm not kidding you. He's been heavy sighing more than usual. He's been head hugging more than usual. He's been 'under foot' [which like is more trying to be under crotch but just lifting mom up] more than usual. I keep telling him, 'babe, it's all going to be ok'.... but he's a man, he doesn't listen. he didn't even act this dramatic when I had his balls consciously uncoupled from his body.

Do you ever have those days where you look at your kid and you know, 'nothing is getting done today, this guys going to make it a struggle bus day'.... Well by about 7:10 this morning I knew today was one of those days, not because of the kids but because of the massive blob that decided he could fit on the couch [he has never climbed on before...ever] because he needed mommy. But then Dal [his 3 year old little toddler he owns] was in his way... he needed to be closer to mom. So, in true giant dog fashion-he moved the ottoman out of the way and became my ottoman... after fussing with the rug that wasn't to his liking, he finally passed out, underfoot and now I can't move. Because you never wake a sleeping baby. DUH. 

So, I guess I will work from this EXACT spot, breathe lightly, and hope he gets the comfort he needs in the next hour so I'm able to move again. 

It's not easy being almost three. 

My 43" three year old and my 160 pound almost three year old.