The morning after.

The shade I am, is a shade of red I never thought I would be.

This is coming as a shock to me in a way that not even the Spice Girls breaking up or the final season of Sex in the City gave me....

[that is a blatant exaggeration, both of those events ended me in therapy... I wish I was joking]

I am burnt.

I am burnteth.

I am feeling the burn.

I am that thing that happens to so many people I used to pity. I AM SUN BURNT.

I saw myself turning slowly into a tomato and rashly thought to myself, 'boo, you ALWAYS turn brown in the morning.... you got this baby.' But I was wrong.

[Yes, I call myself boo... it makes me feel loved, and wanted, and cherished. OK?]

I was DEAD wrong.

I am awake.

And I am not brown.

So I am rallying for story time at the library.... trying to find a way to wear a bra and not cry from the crispy pain I know is inevitable.....

I can do this.... I will do this for my babies. 

I will get that library card Mini has been pining over....

I will pat the name drum for the Toddler when he refuses too...

I will make it through the glitter and the glue and the crafting. 

I will LIKE IT.

I will not like it, but I will do it. 

But enough with my pain......

As I sit here and write, I hear this little squeaky, "hey mom... hey mama?? I love you. Is that impossible?"

No babe, that is not impossible that is perfect.

And I have one of those devastating thoughts, what will it be like when he's off to college and I don't hear those random 'I love you's' from the kitchen anymore.......... 

This is what life is about. 

Don't forget it.