Christmas Time.

I don't know if I have a TON of love languages but my main love language is gift giving. I LOVE it. I only wished I still worked so I could get more for other people. I LOVE seeing people's faces when they get something they want. Is that weird? I really don't care.... I love it.

I already have everyone set and bought for and wrapped. The house looks like Santa had too much egg nog and puked everywhere. And I also... LOVE it.

My family tolerates it.... or at least they don't say anything, and that's okay by me.

It is probably my last year for a while that I can go all out, lord help us when Dallas starts walking. Everything will be destroyed.

I am so thankful that we finally own our house. I am grateful that we are all healthy. I am happy I can rip down walls and no one (except for maybe my husband) will say anything.....

More than anything.... I love that I get to share this season with the two most adorable children ever... and lets be honest, they really are:

My cutie patooties. 

A Full Moon.

Has it really been over a year? 

Of course. On a Full Moon, while the kids are still awake I decided to start on my scrap book of my brother and our lives together. 

I was fine. I made it an hour into it and was really doing okay. It was a happy time for me. And then I found a picture of him, 13 or 14 years old, playing in the sand... building a sand castle with one of my high school friends during summer break. 

I made it to the bathroom before I broke down, barely, but I was heart broken. I was heartbroken because of our life choices... all of us. We complicate things. A decade later, just ten years, he is dead. And ten years before hand he was content building sand castles. That. That made him happy. Sand Castle's made him happy. And within ten years he is gone. 

I feel like some times we complicate life so much we loose ourselves. We may not die but we are lost. We are gone. Because it just gets so complicated. Things, Needs, WANTS, desires, demands, all complicate our lives. We can't be happy just 'being' anymore. Our worlds are so busy and so important that peace is lost. Calm is lost. Hope... then.... is lost. Especially during this season, what is important to you? Can you sit and be happy? Maybe not building sand castles but what is your sand castle?

My Sand Castle.

Never take for granted what you have, keep it simple. Keep it happy.